A Chorister’s Confession

Almighty and most merciful Conductor,
We have erred and strayed from they beat like lost sheep;
We have followed too much the intonations and tempi of our own hearts.
We have offended against Thy dynamic markings.
We have left unsung those notes which we ought to have sung
And we have sung those notes which we ought not to have sung,
And there is no support in us.

But Thou, O Conductor, have mercy upon us, miserable singers;
Succour the chorally challenged;
Restore thou them that need sectionals.
Spare thou them that have pencils.
Pardon our mistakes, and have faith the hereafter we will follow thy directions
And sing together in perfect harmony.

Source: uncertain.